What Is a Slapper, and Why We're Proud of the Word

The slapper meaning, straight

Strip the sneer off and the slapper meaning is simple: a woman who likes sex, has it when she fancies it and doesn't dress it up as anything else. There's no age attached, no look, no type. The word was never really describing her body or her clothes. It was describing her choices, and more precisely, somebody else's disapproval of them.

In the old usage a slapper was a woman who wouldn't wait to be asked, who'd say yes on a first night if she fancied the man, and who woke up the next morning feeling great about it. Read that list back slowly. Not one item on it sounds like a problem, and most of it sounds like the best night you've had in years.

So if anyone asks you what is a slapper, the honest answer is a woman who enjoys herself and refuses to feel bad about it. Everything else was other people's commentary.

The double standard, poked with a stick

A man sleeps with three women in a month and his pals call him a legend. A woman does the same and earns a nickname. That's the double standard in two sentences, and it's never made a lick of sense: same act, same enjoyment, opposite verdicts.

Nobody here's going to lecture you about it. The point is that the women on this site have noticed it too and decided it doesn't apply to them. They want sex, they say so, and the word that was meant to shame them now mostly makes them laugh.

A man who still thinks less of a woman for wanting exactly what he wants will find the site hard going, because she can smell that attitude in a single message. The man who finds her appetite exciting rather than shocking has a very good time.

Who gets to say it, and how it sounds now

Plenty of labels have been picked up by the people they were aimed at and worn on purpose. Once you own a word, it stops working as a weapon. Slapper has gone that way for a lot of women, who use it about themselves with real affection: the pal who had the best weekend of anyone, the friend who called time on a dull date and went home with his much funnier mate instead.

She can call herself a slapper; you calling her one, uninvited, in your opening line, is the fastest way to be ignored. Let her use it first, if she wants to, and enjoy the joke with her.

And when she does use it, listen. A woman who winks across the table and tells you she's feeling like a proper slapper tonight isn't confessing anything. She's issuing an invitation, and the right reply is a grin and your coat.

What she's like when she owns it

Women who've stopped apologising for wanting sex tend to be wonderful company, in bed and out of it. There's no guessing game. She'll tell you what she likes and let you know when you've got it right. Confidence is catching, and a night with her feels like it.

Picture the chat on a Monday. She tells you she's had a week of meetings and fancies being thoroughly distracted on Friday, then spells out roughly how, in enough detail to wreck your afternoon. On Friday she doesn't pretend to be surprised when the night goes exactly where she said it would. In the morning there's no awkward shuffle and no fishing for reassurance, just a cheeky look over her shoulder that says she'd happily do it all again.

If that sounds like your kind of woman, it's worth joining tonight and seeing who's flirting near you.

What it means on Scottish Slappers

On Scottish Slappers the word has one settled meaning: a woman who knows what she wants and makes the call. She decides who she talks to, how quickly things heat up, whether a chat becomes a drink, whether a drink becomes a night together, and when it's over.

The members are women who want sex and say so, from the West End of Glasgow to the Moray coast. None of them owe anyone an explanation, and every one of them is here because she wanted to be.

Slapper dating, from your side of the table

Slapper dating flips the usual script. On mainstream dating apps a man does all the chasing and hopes. Here the women have already said yes to the idea of casual sex. What they haven't said yes to yet is you, and that's the fun part.

Men who come looking for sex with slappers sometimes expect a shortcut, as if a woman who likes sex will take anyone. It's the other way round: a woman with options gets choosy, fast. She'll pass on the three-word profile and the opener that's nothing but innuendo. She'll answer the man who clearly read what she wrote and made it plain he's after the same uncomplicated thing she is, then flirt back properly.

It helps to understand why plenty of women prefer no strings. Once you see what she gets out of it, her yes stops feeling like a prize and starts feeling like a deal two adults struck because they both wanted the same delicious thing.

What a slapper isn't

She isn't easy, and she isn't on offer. Wanting sex is a long way from wanting it with you, tonight, on your schedule; she can be keen in the chat and change her mind at the bar, and that's entirely up to her.

She isn't a product either. Nobody here is described like an item on a menu, and a man who talks about women that way doesn't last. Treat her as what she is, a grown woman with her own appetite, her own sense of humour and a sharp eye for who's worth her time, and she'll treat you to her very best.

So, what is a slapper, really?

Clear away the old nonsense and what is a slapper comes down to this: she's confident, she's honest, she's fun, she's in charge of her own evenings, and frankly she's the best company in Scotland. The men who enjoy her most are the ones who stopped flinching at the word and started enjoying the woman.

So come and meet her. Write a profile you'd be happy for her to read aloud to her pals, send a hello with some wit in it, and get ready for a woman who flirts back harder than you do. She's already here, she already knows what she wants, and tonight it might be you.